Asperger’s Marriage

asperger's marriageMany people, who live with another individual that is diagnosed with the Asperger’s disorder, may give an example of it being similar to “water torture.” They relate it to being like the persistent dripping of water, which soon enough would drive anyone insane. This example relates to all of the obsessive-compulsive traits that those individuals possess, as well as social issues such as lack of eye contact and social anxiety. These different personalities, which they have, really interfere with the connection and relationships that exists between them and family members of theirs. With these constant behavioral ticks, it gets difficult to connect with that special person, and makes it challenging to predict their thoughts or next moves.

For example, a man living with the Asperger’s disorder often times tries to show love for his wife, but he cannot do so intimately. Attempting to show this love for her, the average man with the Asperger’s disorder, feels as if he should demonstrate their love for each other, rather than have a conversation with each other about their feelings or thoughts. This therefore makes their living situation difficult because of the inconsistent feelings that she is constantly receiving from him. The lack of communication is usually the cause of all of the uprising problems, making the intimate side of their relationship difficult to handle.

A male individual with the Asperger’s syndrome wants an intellectual, sympathetic and strong woman that he would feel safe around in order to have her handle the social aspect of the world for them. On the other hand, what women see in these types of men are their adolescent nature, and therefore find charm and attraction for them. What the man doesn’t realize, is that the woman wants to be fully independent, as they want the man to honor that individuality in them. The woman therefore, usually starts to see a different side in her partner that she least expected from them. After a while of living together, she will notice that he is old-fashioned, in a sense that he likes all of the attention for himself and is focused mainly on his own interests.

Men with Asperger’s often complain as well about issues they have with their spouses. Most of the time, the male calls his wife “unappreciative” or “ungrateful” due to how often she complains about him being insensible and never wanting to talk or listen. This behavior also seems to branch off of him wanting the attention and also him not understanding what sympathy or compassion means. The relationships between the married couples usually turn into verbal abuse, and sometimes even physical abuse from the male, caused by his view upon the world and his ways to solve problems.

A way for all of this to change is possible, although highly dependent on the first step: whether or not the spouse is ready to accept the diagnosis of their syndrome. With their acceptance for their syndrome, they usually tend to move on and progress as individuals since they are experiencing a major breakthrough. The way they move on isn’t quick, so both the husband and wife will have to make sacrifices in their marriage to help achieve the next step as easily and as comfortably as possible. If they have accepted the diagnosis, but are having difficulties moving on and working out possible issues, then if they are comfortable enough, seeing a counselor may be a good idea in order to acquire a second opinion.

Overall, the Asperger’s disorder is an incurable form of autism. The best that could be done is psychotherapy, which helps the clients to communicate and understand better strategies to work out certain situations. Apart from the male striving to move on and make changes, the woman would need to contribute to this as well, by attempting to interpret what her partner is saying in a non-verbal form of communication as best as possible. This usually takes their combined efforts, since they need to build up an emotional and spiritual connection with each other.

In all forms of marriages, sacrifices are made for each other, and that shows the commitment in the relationship. If that means partaking in different activities to suit their needs best, then building a connection through those actions may be the development of the relationship that you both need.

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